Ask the search engine oracle

June 2, 2010

So, as you may or may not know, I have  a number of websites. Most of these websites get traffic from search engines.

Now, the interesting thing about the web is that a web page can see the URL of the page you came from if you clicked a link to get there. And most search engines use URLs to store the keywords you type in. So, a webmaster with a logging program can se what kind of keywords people are using to get to their site. And usually, the keywords people use are actual questions, either because they think Google is some bizarre kind of Jeopardy or because they think it’s like asking someone for directions. Anyway, I decided to answer some of the more interesting of these questions, and maybe be helpful to others wondering the same thing

Q.Where does dust come from?(this one shows up on one of my sites several times a month)

A.There’s an urban legend that it’s mostly dead skin from us. But an environmental toxicology study found that it’s mainly plain dirt that gets tracked or blown in.

Q.Where do you live?

A.Do you mean me,me, or Google? Cause Google is headquarted in Mountain View, CA, but it’s actual site is a distributed system with data centers all over the world.

Q.How do I find gay bars?

A.Uh…I would guess go into a relativley progressive city and look for signs that say “gay bar”. Then follow said signs until you arrive in a crowded room with lots of topless men

Q.my car is trying to kill

A.Not really sure how to answer this one. Is it trying to kill ants? Your children? Foreign combatants? Decepticons?

I’m guessing it’s Decepticons.

(I run a site about autism charities so I get a lot of these)

Q.Is autism caused by (insert one from  below)

Head injury

to many beeries

falling

noseses

dyslexia

eating too much led paint

buzsing noises

video games

the illuminati

A.If it’s # 5, you’re all screwed. I also can’t answer your question until you tell me how much led paint is too much to eat.

Q.do you ever feel like someone’s watching you?

A.Actually, now I do. Probably because you asked me where my house was. Creeper.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: